


Two Boys, Sitting In A Living Room, Eating Cookies ‘Cuz They’re Gay

by rompodje_99



Category: Danganronpa
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-12 21:42:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29391420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rompodje_99/pseuds/rompodje_99
Summary: Byakuya Togami's life has gone to shit.His husband, Monokuma, and him have been married for ten years, but they're one argument away from a divorce. His coffee machine is broken. And there's a cute boy who just moved into the house next door.What in the worldly world will Byakuya do?
Relationships: Fukawa Toko/Naegi Komaru, Kirigiri Kyoko/Celestia Ludenberg, Naegi Makoto/Togami Byakuya
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	1. Chapter 1

There's a difference between people who are utterly disappointing and people who are just fucking assholes.

Monokuma was both.

Byakuya rubbed his temple, replaying the argument over and over in his head. Over what? He couldn't remember.

All he could remember was being angry.

He sighed and turned to the sleeping bear beside him. His beady black eye was closed and the one that looked kinda like a sideways lightning bolt stayed open as always.

It made Byakuya feel like he was being stared at. It sent a seering rage through Byakuya. He felt the urge to rip it out of that bitch's skull.

But instead, he just rolled over and peered away from the white sheets (they were fucking ugly anyway) and at the large numbers flashing red displayed on the alarm clock. On and off. On and off.

It was 4:78 A.M., definitely past the time Byakuya should be asleep. But he'd given up approximately twenty minutes ago at 4:58. Approximately.

He slithered out of bed, careful not to wake Monokuma and make him angry again. Monokuma was loud, but much louder when he was angry.

Hell, he'd probably scream so loud the neighbors would wake up and that'd be horribly fucking counterproductive because then everyone's awake and angry and oh my God he hated Monokuma.

Byakuya pushed the thoughts aside and walked over to his dresser. Once he and Monokuma had shared a dresser, but after the arguments started, they had to buy another one. No longer did Byakuya have to see the horrid sight of those dumb fucking lifeless Monokuma's, reminding him of the annoying one who unfortunately had a personality.

He reached into the dresser and pulled out his clothing items. He stared at his shirtless figure in the mirror and felt a pain rise in his chest. Was he having a heart attack or something? Probably. Oh well. Might as well get the day started.

After, still angrily, throwing on his clothes and taking a shower, Byakuya went downstairs to make coffee. It was his only joy in life. Just kidding. He had no joys.

Coffee just numbed the pain a little.

He opened the cabinet and— oh for fuck's sake, Monokuma used his mug again.

Byakuya growled at the thought of the bear and took out a cactus green mug that said "Have a bear-y nice morning!" on the label in Comic Sans.

Nevermind. Putting it back.

He finally settled on one of the rejected mugs in the back of the cabinets that he never used. For good reason's, too. They all were either blindingly ugly or broken.

The mug had a creepily realistic design of Santa Clause's face on it. His cheeks were, instead of pink or red or even orange, green, and the paint in his eyes were halfway chipped off. Strange, considering it had never been used.

Byakuya had gotten it for Christmas four years ago from his neighbor who's name he couldn't bother to remember. He didn't really like her, and didn't think she really liked him. Which was fine between the two. She had her husband and he had Monokuma.

But then... of course. Byakuya sighed.

He set the cup down on the coffee machine and poured the coffee grounds into the poor machine that had to bear ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) living in this household.

Which is probably why it didn't work.

"Fuck!" Byakuya yelled out in frustration, banging his fist on the counter. Why was nothing going right today. He took a deep breath in an attempt to regain his composure.

It's okay, just a minor inconvenience. After all, he could always buy a new coffee machine. He didn't need coffee today.

After haphazardly shoving the mug and coffee grounds back into the cabinet, Byakuya plopped on the couch, tired of Saturday already, and it was only 5 A.M. At least Monokuma wouldn't be up for another two hours.

But then there was a knock on the door.

It was loud, louder than Byakuya would like, though he liked things to be absolutely silent. Whoever was knocking so loudly on his door at five in the god fucking damn morning was about to get their skull crushed in.

Byakuya stomped towards the door, flinging it open and seething down at the bitch who dared bother him at a time like thi—

"Hello, my name's Makoto Naegi. I just moved in next door."

Byakuya's facial expression softened before going right back to where it had been before.

"Tell me, Mister Makoto Naegi, why on this godforsaken Earth are you here knocking on my door at—"

"Oh, sorry about that," Makoto chuckled, scratching the back of his neck like this was some kind of joke, "I got here real early and noticed your lights were on and so—"

"One, never interrupt Byakuya Toga—"

Byakuya's voice was cut off by Makoto's once again. "Oh! Your name is Byakuya?" Makoto's eyes lit up. "What a beautiful name!"

Byakuya could feel his cheekbownés heating up and his eyes instinctively diverted away from Makoto. "It's Mr. Togami to you," he spat.

"Whoops, sorry Mr. Togami." Makoto's smile only grew brighter the angrier Byakuya got. 

He couldn't tell if Makoto was enjoying his anger or if it was unintentional, nonetheless, it pissed him off even more.

"Just go home, kid, I don't need you in my house."

Makoto looked disappointed. "So soon? That's a shame, I brought cookies..."

Cookies. It seemed so childish to get excited over something like that, but hunger hit Byakuya like an ocean wave. It occurred to him that he hadn't eaten in approximately thirteen hours, having skipped dinner because of, well, you know who.

Approximately.

"F-fine. Go ahead," Byakuya grumbled, "just don't get the floor dirty."

Makoto sat down on the couch, gently placing a tray of what were presumably cookies covered by a large piece of aluminum foil beside him. 

There was a moment of silence before Byakuya spoke up. "So? Why are you here?"

"Well—" Naegi shifted in his seat— "I figured that since I was new to this neighborhood, I'd come introduce myself to my neighbors and get to know them and all that junk, but you don't really seem like the talkative type."

Byakuya scoffed. He didn't have time to talk to people and "get to know them", that's how he ended up in the place he was right now.

"Jeez, you are really quiet," Makoto laughed. Was he laughing at him? The audacity... "So, do you live with anybody else?"

Oh, just my cretin of a husband. Byakuya grinded his teeth together. "My husband."

"You have a husband? Seriously? Where is he? I'd love to meet him!"

No, you wouldn't. "He's asleep."

Makoto sighed. "Darn, maybe I should've come later after all." Good idea! Now leave.

"What time is it anyway?"

Byakuya pointed to the clock on the wall. 5:31 A.M. Time went so slow...

"Ah, yeah, yeah, that clock!" Makoto enthused, tilting his head to read it.

"You do know how to read a clock, right?"

Makoto looked at the tray of cookies. "Not those kinds. We learned in like, second grade how to use them, but I never tried remembering."

"Do you not have a phone on you?"

"Good idea! I can ask Kirigiri what time it is."

Byakuya nearly bashed his skull against the table until his brain was nothing but mush, but something caught his ears.

"Kirigiri? Kyoko Kirigiri?" Byakuya's head perked up.

Makoto looked up from the phone he had taken out of his pocket. "Yeah, she's my girlfriend and soon-to-be roommate."

Girlfriend. Something about that word sent frustration and anger and the need to scream into a fucking pillow through Byakuya's body. She was his girlfriend?

Of course. 

It hadn't crossed his mind before, but Kirigiri did mention a Makoto a few times.

They knew each other. More than Byakuya did.

He shouldn't be mad about that.

But he was, and that was terrifying.

"Congratulations," Byakuya managed to get out through barred teeth.

Makoto smiled as he typed in Kirigiri's number. It seems I have forgotten to tell him that's not what I meant.

"Hey, Kirigiri, what time is it—" He let them continue on their conversation. Approximately ten minutes had passed since he'd last checked the time.

He pursed his lips. Approximately.

"Hey, Byakuya, did you know it was 5:42 A.M.?"

Byakuya let out a long-held breath as "approximately" rang through his skull. "No, actually."

Makoto gasped. "Really? Hey, I knew something you didn't! How cool is that."

It was simply the time. "Phenomenal."

Makoto jumped off of the couch and jumped up and down. Byakuya stared at him judgementally until he sat back down.

"That's right! I completely forgot about the cookies!" Makoto exclaimed as the tray of cookies bounced from the impact. He snatched them from beside him and tore off the foil, revealing a dozen or so warm chocolate chip cookies.

Byakuya was glad his stomach remained silent during the unveiling of Makoto's cookies.

Makoto picked up a cookie and offered it to Byakuya, his arm extending over the glass coffee table, threatening to drop the tray he was holding atop of it. Breaking it.

"Thank you," he managed, grabbing the cookie away from Makoto and allowing him to sit back down, munching on another one of the cookies.

"I wonder what time it is now," Makoto yawned.

"If you're tired you are welcome to lea—"

"Nah, I'm good, I wanna meet your husband, remember?"

Byakuya gridded his teeth together. "Of course. He should be waking up soo—"

"Upupupu, who's this~?" A voice came from behind them and Byakuya turned to see Monokuma, puffing a cigar and waddling down the stairs. It's kind of hard to look intimidating like that, but somehow, he managed to intimidate Makoto enough.

"Augh, who am I? Who are you?" Ah, that's right, Makoto probably didn't know that living robotic bears existed yet.

"Makoto, that's Monokuma." Byakuya nearly choked on his words. "My husband."


	2. Get in Losers we’re going to give Togami ear surgery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More queerness ensues

"So you're Mr. Togami's husband?" Byakuya couldn't tell if Makoto was excited or horrified or a mixture of both.

"Unfortunately." Byakuya didn't want Makoto to think he actually liked this cretin. Not that he cared what Makoto thought.

"O h —"

"Now, now, let us welcome our guest peacefully." Monokuma put his hands together and pressed them up against his chest.

Peace is the one thing the household never had. Byakuya huffed.

Makoto seemed to notice the tension in the air molecules and cleared his throat. "Ahaha, we were about to go back to my place right now for, uh, things." He was a horrible liar. His palms and face were sweaty as fuck and he was glancing to his left.

Monokuma raised a nonexistent eyebrow. 

"Like, things like painting each other's nails and giving each other ear surgery and—"

"You are not painting my nails." Byakuya folded his arms in disgust.

Makoto's confidence seemed to falter (not like he had much anymore anyway) and he nodded. "Byakuya needs ear surgery."

Monokuma reluctantly let them leave. Ear surgery sounded better than being in a 50 mile radius of that peasantish robo-bear.

He and Makoto walked out the door, Byakuya slamming it behind him.

They walked in silence before Makoto spoke up. "Your husband is nice. What's his name again?"

Byakuya ignored Makoto. Best not to talk to annoying hot men who decide to give you cookies at 5 in the morning.

"So, how do you preform ear surgery on somebody?" It took a second for Byakuya to comprehend that sentence.

Byakuya looked down at Makoto. "What?" he scowled.

"Well it has to be convincing, right? If he finds out that I lied— wait, do ear surgeries even exist?"

"What gave you the idea you could invite me over to your house?"

Makoto stopped. Had he upset him? No, nevermind, he had just stopped in front of his house. "Do you have friends?"

"Why do you have the need to ask such questions? Shut up, I'm sick of hearing your voice."

Makoto obliged and leaned down to push a rock out of the way, revealing a small silver key. Of course somebody like him would be so forgetful he has to put his key under a rock right in front of the front door.

He just hoped Makoto didn't want him to stay the night.

Makoto jammed the key into it's designated hole and twisted it left. It didn't budge. He tried twisting it right. It unlocked.

"I'm home! And I met a friend!" Makoto felt the need to announce this right after his toes brushed the floor. Byakuya scoffed at the word 'friend'. They were hardly friends. Byakuya would never befriend somebody so generic just looking at him made Byakuya bored.

A head popped out of the corner. "If you haven't already heard, Celeste, it appears Makoto is home." Byakuya recognized her immediately,  
Kirigiri. "And he's brought Togami with him."

"Hm, Togami?" Another appeared from the doorframe, this time coming out entirely and not just poking her head out. "Ah, yes, yes, it is." She looked to the side like she was disappointed he was there. At least try to hide it.

"Hey, Kiri!" Makoto ran up to Kirigiri, wrapping his arms around her. He looked away in annoyance, only to make eye contact with Celestia. Ceiling it is.

After all the mushy hetero shit was over, Byakuya felt he could allow his eyes to look at people again.

"Anyway, this is Byakuya Mr. Togami." Makoto pointed in Byakuya's direction. "He's the smart guy who told me to call you when I didn't know the time."

Kirigiri's gaze met Byakuya's for a split second before she looked back at Makoto, patting his head softly. Ew. 

"And we're giving him ear surgery."

"Ear surgery?"

"Yeah, cuz his husband—"

"Why am I here?"

Makoto perked up when he heard Byakuya's voice.

"Like I said, to get to know you better." Makoto smiled.

"Why am I the only one here?" Byakuya then remembered Celestia and Kirigiri were in the room. "Who doesn't live here," he added.

Makoto was silent. He didn't have an answer to that question.

"It's very early in the morning, is it not? You were the only one awake." Celestia walked over to Byakuya. "I must say, it is very nice to meet you. I hope you and your, ehm, husband are doing well."

"And I wish you and your—" Byakuya struggled to remember anything about Celestia— "vampire servants are doing well."

"Those do not exist yet."

"Ah, how disappointing."

The awkward exchanges between Celestia and Kirigiri and the one-sided conversations between everyone and Makoto continued on for hours until,

"Let's watch the Lorax!"

Byakuya began cleaning his glasses. "Bless you."

"That sounded nothing like a sneeze," commented Kirigiri before being tackled onto the couch by Makoto. It took everything in Byakuya to not look away.

"Lorax! Lorax! Lorax!" Makoto chanted the sneeze-sounding word like he was trying to summon a fucking demon. Byakuya began to imagine what kind of demon would be named "the Lorax", but his thoughts were cut short soon enough.

"Byakuya, you've watched the Lorax, right?" Makoto looked up at him hopefully. He glanced at Kirigiri, who mouthed 'Please say 'yes''.

"No, never," Byakuya said in spite.

Makoto looked as if he'd just been called the most insulting name in the universe and pulled Byakuya beside him.

"It's a great movie and we're watching it. Right now."

Byakuya bit back a groan. A movie? You've got to be kidding me.

Celestia took a seat next to Kirigiri, who smiled at her much more warmly than Byakuya'd ever seen her smile at Makoto.

He chose to ignore them and opened his mouth to ask what the Lorax even was about, but was cut off by Makoto shushing him. "The movie's starting," he whispered.

The movie was horrible.

Byakuya, unlike Makoto, who had fallen asleep halfway through the movie on Byakuya's lap. Byakuya didn't have friends, of course, and Kirigiri didn't seemed phased, so maybe this was just what friends did. Kirigiri acted this way with Celestia, after all.

So maybe he didn't have to worry, he thought, leaning backwards on the couch and closing his eyes.


	3. Watch a talented rich man have a panic attack for free!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He’s gay. Oh no.

Byakuya hadn't realized he'd slept through the entire night. Most likely because he was asleep during that time.

Kirigiri, Celeste, and Makoto had apparently gone off somewhere without waking Byakuya up, which was slightly annoying.

He stood up and something fell off his lap. He got ready to stab whatever cryptid had fallen, but then realized

oh,

it was only Celeste and Kirigiri who'd left then.

Makoto groaned. "Ow, what the Hell'd you do that for?" He yawned and stumbled to his feet, rubbing his head. "Morning, Mr. Togami, where's Kirigiri?"

Byakuya opened his mouth to reply before Makoto interrupted him. "Oh, oh, yeah nevermind, I forgot she did her detective thing today."

"What... 'detective thing'?" Byakuya straightened his jacket.

"I dunno. Hey, do you have to go home anytime soon?"

Byakuya stiffened. As much as he didn't want to, yes, he did.

Makoto rocked back and forth on his heels and Byakuya realized he'd forgotten to respond.

"I was planning on it."

"When?"

"Now."

And Byakuya left. He couldn't stand being around Makoto. It wasn't anger or hate or anything but some other indescribable emotion that screamed at him to leave immediately.

He slammed the door shut when he got inside and pushed himself against the wall, trying to steady his breathing. It'd only just occurred to him that he hadn't been able to breathe for the past ten minutes.

His legs gave out and he fell to the floor. Why was he panicking? Memories of last night came flooding back. The Lorax, Makoto on his lap that'sjustwhatfriendsdobutwearen'tfriends—

"Oh?"

Oh no.

He had forgotten Monokuma existed. His mind was filled with thoughts of Makoto ever since he'd left Makoto's house.

Byakuya managed two words, his voice shaking slightly. "I'm home."

"Home late!" Monokuma growled, waving his arms in the air like he always did when angry, "I should punish you!"

Byakuya tried not to flinch and stood up. "That won't be necessary. I'm going to go make dinner." He sped off to the kitchen.

It felt nice to be alone. Sounds and voices weren't constantly screaming at you.

Byakuya let out a sigh of fucking agony and turned his eyeballs.

Might as well make dinner.

"Hey."

It'd been four days since Byakuya had gone to Makoto's.

Approximately.

He hadn't heard from him or anybody else in the household since. He'd assumed they'd just forgotten about him and he could go back to normal.

But nope. Kirigiri decided today was the day she'd crawl through the bedroom window at 3 A.M. like it was any kind of normal and greet him with something so casual as "Hey".

He kind of wanted to crush her to death.

"Why are in my presence?" he hissed. He didn't know why he was being quiet, Monokuma hadn't been home at the moment. Did Kirigiri know that? If so, how?

"I figured you'd like to have this." She reached into her pocket and took out a note then held it out to Byakuya, who took it cautiously.

The handwriting was almost indecipherable. It seemed it had been sloppily scrawled out in two seconds.

Bad handwriting aside, Byakuya squinted. Now that it was somewhat readable, he scanned the paper.

"Hey, Byakuya! Its Makoto."

Byakuya couldn't help but read that in a bubbly soap advertisement voice. He prayed to God that the rest wouldn't be like this.

"I was a little nervous to talk to you because your scary, but can you come over again sometime. You were fun the first time ^^"

Did he put a fucking emoticon in a letter?

The letter ended with that and Kirigiri stared at him with her hand on her chin waiting for an answer.

He scoffed. "No."


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byakuya doesn’t have friends

//Welcome to this 12 day late Halloween special!//

Byakuya should've known that, no matter what he answered, he'd be standing outside Makoto's apartment door at approximately 5 P.M. the next day. And he should've known that Makoto, being himself, would show up with a costume on

A white sheet had been thrown over his head with three black dots that slightly resembled a face drawn on it. If Byakuya hadn't known Makoto, he would've never been able to guess who was under it.

"Happy Halloween, Byakuya! Where's your costume?"

Makoto scanned Byakuya up and down as if suddenly he'd be wearing one if he bobbed his head enough. "It seems I've forgotten the date."

Makoto's eyes lit up. "Oh, wait! I haven't introduced you to Komaru!" He grabbed Byakuya's hand and pulled him inside. "I'm sure you'll love her; she brought her wife and ooh"—Makoto practically threw Byakuya onto the couch—"Maru! Toko! Come here!"

"OHHHHHHHHHHHH! HEY, TOGAMI!" A shrieking girl came running into the room, another girl trailing behind her. "I'M MAKOTO'S SISTER HIII!"

Byakuya resisted the urge to cover his ears. "How do you know my name?"

"MAKOTO TOLD ME ABOUT YOUUU!"

Of course he did. Of fucking course. 

Byakuya sighed. "Toko or Komaru?"

"Komaru"—she pointed to the girl behind her, who was hunched over and staring out the window—"she's Toko. Toko Naegi."

Toko crumpled to Komaru the moment Byakuya dared look at her, whimpering. Komaru smiled.

"Anyway, Celeste and Kyoko aren't here yet, they're buying candy cuz Komaru dropped the other bag out the window." Makoto dragged a box into the room, finding it unnecessary to explain how Komaru managed to drop a bag of candy out a closed window. "Now, put on a costume." Makoto opened a box, revealing a bundle of countless homemade Halloween costumes.

No.

No.

No.

No.

"No."

Makoto frowned. "But you'd look pretty as a witch."

"No."

"Wow, buzzkill." Komaru put her hands on her hips. Byakuya only now realized Komaru and Toko were wearing costumes, only because the two dorky lesbians had decided to dress up as each other.

Komaru wore a torn and wrinkled sweater with "Toko Fukawa" embroidered on the sleeve and a long, purple scarf. She had managed to find both type writer earrings and convince her wife to lend Komaru her glasses. It explained why Toko 1. wouldn't make eye contact with anyone, which Byakuya had guessed was normal at first, and 2. was wearing the brightest colors in the room despite clearly wanting no attention at all.

"H-he shouldn't have to... if he doesn't want to dress up, we can always kick him ou—"

"Nope!" Makoto cut Toko off. "He needs to socialize; he has no friends."

Byakuya scoffed. "I socialize plenty, thank you."

"Oh, yeAh, where's your husband?"

Byakuya's eyes flew open. "My what?"

"Did I not tell you?" Makoto scratched his neck. "Oh, yeah, I didn't. Anyway, we're going to a magic show. I wanted your husband to be with us."

Byakuya rubbed his forehead. Makoto wanted Monokuma there? Well, he couldn't just say no... for some fucking reason.

"I'll call him."

Byakuya put the phone down, sighing. Why didn't he just make up an excuse? Monokuma would be at the magic show. Monokuma would sit next to him for a whole ass magic show.

"Are you guys ready?" Celestia and Kirigiri had come home while Byakuya was making the phone call and Komaru had gone to gather everyone for the car ride. 

Byakuya hated the thought of the car ride. 

But, alas, eventually he had to cram inside the car meant for five people, smushed next to Makoto and Toko, and die mad about it.

At least Monokuma was driving there separately.

Kirigiri (the only one besides Byakuya who knew how to drive) stopped the car abruptly. "We're here."

She had stopped the car in a parking lot next to a cheap-looking playground with a cement stage. On the stage, a red-headed girl who looked five set up what seemed to be some sort of piranha tank. Her oversized witch hat would fly off her head every five seconds.

The five-year-old noticed the—Byakuya swiftly counted them all—six climbing out of the car.

"Nyeh, it seems my magic is making this wind blow too hard..." She put on her hat again. "Why are you so early? I'm still preparing."

"We left early," Makoto said.

"I wanted to be sure we didn't show up late." Celestia smiled at the girl. "If you're still setting up your trick, we could always wait somewhere out of sight."

"It's not a trick!" the five-year-old yelled. Komaru, startled, stumbled back. "It's magic!"

Celestia let out an awkward laugh. "While you prepare your magic."

"Fine, but no peeking!" 

Celestia nodded and gestured for Kirigiri to follow her, who did. Makoto didn't seem bothered and skipped over to Byakuya.

"Hey, Mr. Togami! When's your husband coming?"

"His name is Monokuma," Byakuya snapped. He didn't like the reminder he was married to that asshole. "And I have absolutely no idea."

"We did come pretty early." Makoto thought for a moment. "Maybe he'll be here for the—"

HONK! HONK!

Makoto screamed and grabbed Byakuya's arm, hugging it. "Get off me you peasant!" Byakuya's head snapped to where the noise had come from and fuuuuuucccccckkkkkkkkk—

Monokuma was there.

Byakuya stared at the tank, listening to the five-year-old announce her tricks. Plunge herself into the water, probably die, do some transformation magic, whatever.

Each trick was more mundane than the last. Monokuma being right fucking next to him and talking to him made it worse. He wasn't even listening. He knew Monokuma would just argue about it later.

Byakuya just wanted to leave.

The five-year-old announced her final trick. "For this one"—she waved her wand—"it'll be a surprise." Her enthusiasm didn't show.

She stood up on a stool, waving her wand into the air. "Bibbity bobbity boo!"

One by one, each stage light went off, plunging them all into complete darkness.

The stage lights turned on and Byakuya couldn't believe his eyes.

Monokuma, the robot bear who had been sitting next to him two seconds ago, was no longer a bear. He was a human.

A fucking human.

It was like how fandoms would humanize non-human characters. It was horrific. 

"Ta-da!" The five-year-old waved her wand. Monokuma shrugged and went with it.

"Uh, Byakuya?" Makoto said from the seat next to him. "Is that... you know who?"

"It doesn't matter. It's disgusting either way."

//That's all cuz I've run out of inspiration. Thank Andrew for Monokuma being human now. Bye!//


	5. A very heterosexual chriskiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byakuya thinks he’s straight but is literally married to a man

The ride home was terrifying and terrible.

It took, approximately, thirty more minutes to go home than it did to get to the magic show. Byakuya blamed it on the route Monokuma took.

Byakuya would occasionally glance at Monokuma, only to regret it instantly. He couldn't tell which was worse: Monokuma as a bear or Monokuma as a human.

He decided that Monokuma just fucking sucked in general.

Monokuma didn't look that bothered. Maybe it was because the little girl promised to magic him some cupcakes as an apology. Maybe he just didn't care, which Byakuya thought was very likely. He'd always been so nonchalant about...everything. One of the many reasons Byakuya didn't like him.

When he thought about it, Byakuya wondered why he agreed to date—then marry—Monokuma. They were polar opposites.

Monokuma had always been so loud, and Byakuya liked the quiet. He was self-centered and cruel. He didn't care about others. He didn't know how to deal with his negative emotions and took them all out on Byakuya and—

Byakuya felt a pang of guilt in his chest. He hadn't felt actual guilt in so long, so it was a weird feeling that made him shiver at first. He tried to push away the thoughts that made him feel guilty but they kept fighting back.

Byakuya was cruel. Byakuya didn't care about others. Byakuya took out his negative emotions on Makoto. And, the entire time, Byakuya had only been thinking of how everything was inconveniencing him.

Byakuya was just as much of an asshole as Monokuma.

The car stopped and Monokuma was already out of it. "Are you coming? We haven't had dinner yet."

"I'll be there in a minute." Byakuya stared at the dashboard of the car. He hated it. He hated comparing himself to Monokuma and finding so many similarities. He was nothing like Monokuma. Nothing like the bear who was walking up to the door and opening it and closing it again.

He was crying again. "Fuck," he grumbled, wiping at his eyes. What did Makoto think of him? Did he actually like him, or did he feel bad? Was his smile ever genuine? Was he really as stupid as he made himself out to be? Was the entire thing just a giant ass lie?

Kirigiri and Celestia didn't like Byakuya, and probably had nothing good to say about him, so why would Makoto?

Byakuya continued to wipe his eyes until the tears were completely gone, then looked up at the roof of the car. He should think of something else for a little while.

The Monokubs.

"The Monokubs" were Monokuma's...biological children. He'd gotten them taken away a few years before he married Byakuya. He never told Byakuya why (or who the other parent was, for that matter), but he had a fair amount of guesses.

The kubs were taken in by Monokuma's sister and visited Monokuma once a month. And that once a month was tomorrow.

How the kubs would react to what became of their father last night would be...interesting, to say the least.

"Hey! Ya ever gonna leave the car?" Monokuma shouted from a window inside. Right, Byakuya was still in the car.

He eventually got inside, hanging his coat by the door. Ah, how horrible it was to be home.

At least, now that he wasn't having a gay—vErY hETeROsExUAl crisis, Byakuya felt he could make dinner without breaking down, but the words still stuck and he still couldn't help but question it all.

It wasn't like he could just ask somebody. That would be pathetic.

Aaaaand the doorbell rang. Damn it, did Byakuya leave the lights on again? Fucking trick-or-treaters. Byakuya opened the door, only to find, not trick-or-treaters, but Makoto. He looked visibly sad, but wasn't crying.

Well, was it a day for them both?

"Makoto?" Byakuya managed to get one word out before Makoto clung to him and started sobbing. What had happened?

"K-Kyoko b-b-broke u-up with m-me!" Makoto sobbed.

She had..? She had!

Wait, no, he wasn't supposed to be happy. Why was he happy? Stop being happy.

Byakuya awkwardly pat Makoto's head. "I'm sorry."

Makoto sniffled and Byakuya remembered he'd been clinging Byakuya, so he nudged Makoto off. There was only a matter of time before Monokuma came down to check who was at the door.

"Why are you here? She didn't kick you out, did she?"

"N-nah," Makoto hiccuped, "I just felt awkward th-there, so I left for a bit and now I don't know what to do and I wanna talk to somebody and—"

"Shut up." Byakuya heard footsteps. Over the years, he'd gotten particularly good at listening for them. "Go outside and wait. I'll be there in a minute."

Makoto nodded and closed the door just as Monokuma appeared on the staircase.

"Who was there?"

"Ding-dong ditchers."

Monokuma didn't look like he believed him entirely, but he couldn't prove anything, and, as Monokuma always said, you need hard evidence to back up your claims. Always.

"I'm going for a walk. Dinner will be done in fifteen minutes." Byakuya opened the door again, sure Makoto wasn't in sight. "Just take it out of the oven." He left before Monokuma could speak or argue.

Makoto stood on the sidewalk, sniffling and shivering and looking completely helpless. He wasn't wearing the warmest clothes, either.

"H-hi, Mr. Togami." Makoto hiccuped again. He was still crying. Did it really hurt him that much?

"Hi, Makoto," Byakuya said back. He didn't want to carry the conversation, since it was Makoto who had come to him, but something inside him told him Makoto wasn't going to speak freely for once.

"Why do you care? Kirigiri wasn't that good of a girlfriend." Byakuya was trying to make Makoto feel better.

"B-but she was really nice and—"

"She was cheating on you."

Makoto's head snapped up. "Huh?"

"Certain gestures toward Celeste, that time when we were watching the Lorax...she went off with Celeste before the magic show. What do you suppose they were off to go do?"

Makoto blinked. "Huh?"

"Don't tell me you didn't notice any of the signs."

Makoto's lip quivered. "H-huh?"

"I didn't think you were this much of an idiot." Byakuya sighed and—very, very reluctantly—gave Makoto a soft pat on the head. "Idiot."

Makoto whimpered. "M-Mr. Togami?"

"What?"

"C-can I have a h-hug?"

Byakuya bit the inside of his mouth and leaned forward slightly. Yes was what he wanted to say, but he wanted to say a lot of things, things that he would never be caught dead saying.

"Fine. Only one." Makoto gasped as Byakuya spread his arms out.

He fucking jumped onto Byakuya, wrapping him in his arms tightly. "Ack—" Byakuya nearly fell back, but kept his balance and very awkwardly hugged back.

The hug lasted for a few moments before Makoto pulled away a smidge. "A-and another thing..."

"What now?"

"Well...uh...c-can—uh—"

Byakuya let go of Makoto. "Spit it out already. I don't have all day, Makoto."

"C-can, uhm, c-can uh—" Makoto gave up on words and held his hand out in front of him, then kissed it. Wha— oh God was he asking to kiss him?

Byakuya, for a moment, didn't know how to respond. "Did you just? Did you"—he pushed up his glasses and scoffed—"No." Yes. "Yes."

Makoto laughed awkwardly. "That doesn't answer my question very well. Which answer do I take?"

"The...latter."

"Waitwaitwait, so yes? But you're married and I really didn't expect this uh—"

"Get it over with before I change my mind." Byakuya crossed his arms and looked away.

"It's not very easy if you look awa—"

"Just. Do it."

Makoto nodded and began inching closer to him. They were just kissing as friends, so it wasn't like...he was cheating or haha attracted to Makoto at all. It was fine.

And then it fucking happened. They kissed. It was horrible and disgusting and the greatest thing ever at the same time.

And Byakuya was so much more into it than he expected to be oh no—

The end of this chapter.

//Sorry to all my Naegiri shippers 😔//

//Also I don't know how to write kissing 😘✌️sorry//


	6. Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *starts sobbing*

It took approximately two seconds for Byakuya to regret everything and approximately three for him to pull away and approximately four for him to start crying.

He, of course, blinked the tears away without a second thought. Crying was stupid, for idiots. Byakuya wasn't an idiot.

Makoto began to stammer. Like an idiot. So Byakuya stood up. "Monokuma should be finished with dinner soon. Goodbye, Naegi."

Naegi. Byakuya could see Makoto's heart shatter the moment he called him that.

The house soon came into view as Byakuya walked down the sidewalk. It filled him with dread, but he assured himself that all he had to do was come home, sleep, wake up the next day, oh God the Monokubs.

Could they pick a worse day to come?

[Tuwuime skip]

Byakuya wasn't a morning person. 

He was more of a sit-in-the-library-and-read-your-sins-away-at-any-point-in-the-day person. So he did.

Monokuma wasn't nearly as rich as Byakuya, so, because Monokuma wanted him to move in, the house didn't have a library. It was slightly embarrassing walking into a public library when he had the name Togami right fucking there, but it was where Byakuya was at the time. So sad.

He stepped into the library. It wasn't anything big or grand. The books were all commoner books. Fictional. For idiots. Like Mako— Quit thinking of Makoto.

Byakuya buried the thoughts and grabbed a random book. A romance book titled So Lingers the Ocean Byakuya immediately stuffed back, only for the same book to be grabbed by a different hand.

"Toko, hey, I found one of your books!"

Oh no.

"W-well, of course you have." Oh no. "They're popular. Y-you don't think they're trash, do you?"

Komaru shook her head rapidly. "Not at all! Hm, these versions are ol— OH, HEY, TOGAMI!"

Before he had time to get himself away from her, Komaru grabbed his arm, tearing him back and into a tight hug that would surely suffocate him if she didn't pull away soon. He gasped for air and pushed her off with a scowl.

"I didn't expect to see you here." Despite Byakuya's sour tone, Komaru managed to see happiness in that sentence.

"I know, right? It's crazy. Me and Toko were just here to get a cookbook because neither of us know how to make cookies and we're making star shaped ones for Christmas." Komaru paused and pointed to Toko's sweater. "We're also making new sweaters because Toko's still has her old last name on it, so I'm gonna need a book so we can figure out how to knit—which I think they have here...oh, and I want manga." She added the last part with a smile, causing her girlfriend to roll her eyes in annoyance.

Byakuya tried to make sense of that jumble of words, but quickly gave up and replied with, "Is Naegi—the male one—alright?" 

That was enough to make Komaru burst out laughing. "You know, that's funny, 'cause me and Toko actually have to meet him in 2 seconds weshouldreallygetgoingbye!" 

"W-wait we're wh—" Komaru was already dragging Toko out the door.

Wonder what that's about. Byakuya looked down in guilt. Not even sarcastic remarks made him feel better. Did that coffee machine arrive yet?

Ah, well, he might as well get home before the Monokubs arrived so he could practice remembering their names.

After waiting a good five minutes to make sure he didn't run into any Naegi again, Byakuya walked out the door, pulling his coat over his arms. At least he could be alone as he walked home.

The moment he got there, though, his peace was interrupted by a car rolling up into the driveway, followed by a group of bear children shuffling out, followed by their bunny aunt also coming out to say goodbye to them. Byakuya sneaked up the driveway, trying his best not to be noticed. But, unsurprisingly, Usami noticed him crouching behind her car and waved.

"Hello, Togami!" She let go of the child—either Monotaro or Monosuke—and ushered them to go inside. "I'll be leaving. Take care of the Monokubs for me! Love, love!"

Byakuya didn't respond, he was too focused on somebody else. Somebody that was walking outside of her apartment building and walking to her car. Byakuya shoved Usami aside. "I'm sure Monokuma will do a fine job."

"Uh, okay! Have fun!" Usami shouted from behind him. Byakuya continued walking forward.

Kirigiri's attention diverted from her car keys as Byakuya approached her. She was calm. Too calm. She didn't even look upset. Did she care that little? Surely Byakuya's presence must've reminded her of Makoto.

"Hello there, Kirigiri," Byakuya hisSed. Kirigiri looked back down to her car keys.

"I'm busy today, Togami. Yell at me later." She opened the car door and began to step inside.

"No, you will not be going." Byakuya stomped his long, sexy legs behind her car door to prevent her from closing it. Kirigiri let go of the door and sighed.

"I already told you: I'm busy."

"Busy with what, exactly? Detective work?" Byakuya took the place of his leg, glaring down at Kirigiri. "The last time you were busy, that was just a lie."

Kirigiri looked distressed now. It only made Byakuya want to kill her more. "When was the last time you spoke with Naegi?"

"'Naegi'?"

"Answer my question."

Kirigiri sat down in the passenger seat, staring at the open door. "It was when I broke up with him."

"So are you aware of what happened afterwards? Where he went?"

Kirigiri shook her head.

"He came crying to me, and I had to comfort him. Would you like to know something?" When Kirigiri didn't respond, Byakuya continued. "He didn't even consider the fact you were cheating on him. He had to find out through me."

A look of guilt replaced Kirigiri's distress. She was actually feeling something. Byakuya didn't know that was possible.

"Do you want me to apologise?"

"Sincerely, yes. And make it up to him."

"You called him Naegi."

Byakuya blinked in surprise and looked Kirigiri in the eyes. She didn't look guilty anymore; she looked interested. "What about it?"

"Something happened, didn't it?"

Byakuya scoffed and looked to the side. "That's none of your business. Now leave."

Kirigiri nodded and slid over to the driver's seat. "You should apologise as well, then, if you care about him so much." She closed the door.

Byakuya rolled his eyes. "You wouldn't know."

And she drove off.  
// sorry that took so long, gamers ✌️ //


	7. I don’t know where this fic is going and to be honest I’m too scared to know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toko Toko go brrr

Byakuya had, for the second time, assumed Makoto, Kirigiri, everyone had forgotten about him. And for the second time, Byakuya was okay with that.

Sure, his life before Makoto entered it had been shitty. He hated when Monokuma yelled at him, when he made jokes about him, and when he argued with him. He hated when, approximately every month, the Monokubs would come over for a few days and he couldn't get mad, but Monokuma could. But it was quiet when Monokuma went to work at night (God knows what he did for a living) and his coffee machine worked and, even if it broke, Byakuya would have the motivation to fix it. Or, at the very least, buy a new one, flaunting his plethora of cash in front of the lowly peasants who dared shop at the same store he did by buying the most expensive coffee machine. Maybe two if he was feeling extra rich.

He missed feeling stuck in a time loop. He missed being happily alone. But now that Makoto had entered his life, invaded his thoughts, and kissed Byakuya, his life didn't go back to normal. 

The conversation with Kirigiri, the kiss, Makoto crying, the magic show, Toko's sweater and Komaru's type writer earrings, Celestia's displeased look when he entered their apartment for the first time, all played through his mind on a loop. He could write a book about all the painfully vivid memories that whizzed through his skull 24/7.

Byakuya tried his best not to think about it, no matter how hard it was. He couldn't eat cookies or look at spiky-haired twinks anymore.

He didn't want his assumption to be wrong, but it was. 

Odd, Byakuya Togami was never wrong.

He'd been forced to go to the grocery store, running out of anything to actually cook with. While he'd rather starve than leave his house, Monokuma would yell if he didn't go soon. That, despite everything, was the last thing he wanted. So he walked to the store.

He walked. It had been a while since he'd gone outside, so he walked instead of taking Monokuma's car. Driving always stressed him out anyway. Cooperating with people to create a manageable road without speaking to them was difficult. People are difficult.

...

Speaking of difficult people.

Byakuya felt a tap on his grocery basket and saw a shadow scamper away, bumping into a shelf as it ran. He looked down, greeted by the presence of another note. His heart skipped a beat. He began to read it quickly.

“Dearest Mr. Togami,  
“I am writing this letter to you because I am in love with you. I cannot bear living without you anymore. It’s been a rough two weeks now that both you and my beloved Kirigiri”—Byakuya nearly gagged—“have left me. Nothing can stifle my melancholy. Unless, through mysterious circumstances, you receive this letter that I, Makoto Naegi, have written for you with my own blood and tears, the blackness of my heart used as ink. Mr. Togami, would you, once you receive my sorrow-filled words, be so kind to accompany me to the movie theatre to see my, and your, favorite movie. A movie that once made me glad, but now fills me with heart-breaking sadness, reminding me so painfully of you. At 7 P.M. on Saturday, the Lorax will be playing in the movie theatre—the only one in our town—and I pray you will be able to attend.  
Sincerely,  
Me”

Byakuya instinctively looked toward the shelf whoever had given him this note hid behind. A hand was reaching for a pair of glasses he recognized. They were round and the lenses were too thick for the rest of the glasses. He sighed, rubbing his temple, and walked over to the shelf. 

Toko grabbed her glasses and pushed them onto her face, only for them to fall to the side. She glared up at Byakuya with her crooked glasses and hissed. 

“Is this a prank?” Byakuya held up the note with one hand and pointed to it with the other. “Do you think this is funny?”

Toko gulped, adjusting her glasses. “It isn’t some prank, Makoto t-told me to write a letter f-for him, so I did,” Toko said. “Got a problem with that?”

“Makoto told you to write this for him?” Byakuya lowered the note. “You don’t happen to be lying about that, correct?”

“T-trust me, I have better things to do than lie t-to some prestigious ass-face like you.” Toko smirked to herself as Byakuya cleared his throat in an attempt to remain calm.

“And why wouldn’t Makoto write me a note himself? Even his writing is better than your mediocre skills. Trust me,” Byakuya said in a mocking tone, “I’ve read some of your novels.”

“J-just say yes or no! Are you g-going or not?”

Byakuya thought for a moment. He missed being stuck in a time loop, he missed his old life, he missed feeling miserable.

But above all of that, he missed Makoto.

“I’ll think about it.” Byakuya folded the note and stuffed it into his pocket. Then, without a second thought, walked away from Toko.

He had lied. He wouldn’t think about it. He’d already made up his mind.

He was going.

//ohhhhh wow what’s gonna happen next ooooooo whoa anyway this chapter’s under 1000 words cuz I got lazy//  
//see ya, gamers//


	8. I’m doing that one thing in fanfictions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makoto pov

Makoto's hand hurt.

He knew Mr. Togami, and he knew that to convince him, he had to write something good. Unfortunately, Makoto didn't know how to do that.

No emoticons, no exclamation points. The most convincing thing in the letter was that they were going to watch the Lorax. Makoto knew how much Mr. Togami loved that movie. When they watched it with Kirigiri, he fell asleep out of excitement! Makoto smiled at the memory.

Wait, no, he had to focus. What did Mr. Togami like? He liked big, fancy words and really weird speaking patterns. He liked the word "approximately", but Makoto didn't know what that meant, so he didn't include it in the letter. 

Anyway, his hand hurt. He'd been writing letter after letter, trying to make his handwriting and his... normal writing... perfect! Mr. Togami deserved the best Makoto could give him! :)

But Makoto was really, really bad at that.

"Hmm..." He stroked an imaginary beard. Maybe thesaurus.com would have answers for how to write good letters!

Or, Makoto had an idea!

He jumped up and grabbed his phone, typing in his password, 5293.

Toko's contact was labelled "Komaru's friend". The label was outdated, since then they had gotten married, but Makoto never got around to changing it. Komaru found it once when she stole Makoto's phone (Makoto had no idea how she guessed the password) and said it was funny. Makoto didn't get why.

He typed out his message, "Hey toko can u write this letter 4 me thx :D", and hit send. Toko replied immediately, "No."

"Please :("

"No."

"Its 4 mr togami and i don't know how to write and my hand hurts"

"It's for Togami? Why the heck are you writing for Togami?"

"Please :("

"Give me five minutes."

"make sure to use the word aproximately he really likes that"

"I'm not doing shcrap."

Makoto smiled, turning back toward the pile of unfinished letters scrawled out on notebook paper.

Now all he had to do was hope, and he was really, really good at that. :)


End file.
